A Pattern of Problems, of Problems

In some ways recently I have been looking outside of God for my solutions to specific things. He has been showing me that the solutions and the ability to accomplish the solutions are only found in him. This can include things like the “nice guy” problem as an example. I can’t solve these things myself through my own strength. I may wish to look at what I want to be when all the solutions are brought about, but that only creates more problems. I have to trust in God’s perfect timing rather then trying to fix things about myself, myself.

I noticed a pattern in my last post that has relevance to how we can view virtually all problems related to self. I tried testing it by inserting other problems into the blanks:

_____ brings with it feelings of uneasiness and irritation whenever we are constantly put into the situations that we believe are making us _______. This alters our perspective and keeps us in a state of ______. This process will act kind of like a catalyst. Since we view the situation(s) as ______, we close off ourselves to the possibility of (regular interaction). This is because we are seeing the activity as ______ before it has the chance to be (the way we want it to be). It’s like breaking a TV before it has the chance to turn on. With a perspective like this we are in fact, setting the stage for more _______.

In other words, if we are aware of a problem and know how it is affecting ourselves then it will more then likely become highlighted to us. There will be subtle triggers whenever the possibility of the problem occurring comes up. Eventually, if it progresses, the problem will seem thick in the air and so evident to us that we will cease to be ourselves, and resort to other behaviour. The behaviour depends on the person. It may be that the person withdraws, gets drained, frustrated, silent, indifferent, etc.

This kind of pattern can also be evident in other people as a result of how we responded to our problem. If this is a consistent problem with us, and we are responding to it in the ways talked about above, then in a similar way, another person who has witnessed our behaviour shift (or even people who did not know what we were like before this) will view us based on our behaviour. We will become associated with that behaviour. Once again, there is a problem. It's escalated (by the same pattern listed above) to include the other people who witnessed the behaviour shift. They may now feel the uneasiness in themselves whenever we are present.

Now we may want to resolve this despite how it is effecting us. Here is an example: If we let a person know that we are down, that knowledge will highlight the problem and prevent normal interaction. They will know that we are down and thus treat us differently. Normally this would not be too bad, but because it is normal interaction that we long for, the problem will only be made worse. We are once again stuck. A way to respond in order to prevent this possibility would be to “defy the problem”. Normally we do not have the right amount of strength to go through this and the results will be very inconsistent even if we do. This kind of behaviour will also encourage the use of “masks”, and establish automatic “defence mechanisms” within ourselves. This kind of action is very taxing and does not work.

More evidence of this pattern is when we are gone from the situation or the circumstances that cause us the problems. Lets say that we were gone for a week. This will give us more time away from the problem, and its triggers will generally be far less, so these patterns will have less opportunity to occur. We will find it much easier to be ourselves and forget about the problems. When we return into the circumstances and situations that would cause us the trigger, we will perhaps be able to be ourselves (and more at ease) for a while, but when we become conscious of the problems once again, we will be stuck in the pattern.

The only real solution that I can come up with that can solve all of these problems is one thing… surrender. I have to pray and bring these problems up to God, and then trust that he will help me to deal with them in his own timing. I am giving up on trying to solve the problems by my own power and giving the problems to the only one who could help me with them. I noticed that whenever I give the problems to him and actually trust that he will take care of them, then I would have no reason to be constantly aware of the problems. It was no longer up to me to solve them. I cast my anxiety on Him.

“Stop comparing who you are to who you want to be, and step out beyond the surface” (Kutless)

Boredom's Resolution?

Man, I’m bored, and I’ve been bored for a long time. This got me thinking… what is boredom? What are its causes? What effect does this have on our psyche? Can this be a problem with our perspective? Can boredom be beneficial or is it always detrimental? How can boredom be viewed or used in relation to God? And of course the crazy question… how can boredom be remedied?

One of the first things that I’ve noticed with boredom is that if you do not want to be bored but you still are, it brings with it feelings of uneasiness and irritation whenever we are constantly put into the situations that we believe are making us bored. This alters our perspective and keeps us in a state of boredom. This process will act kind of like a catalyst. Since we view the situation(s) as boring or potentially boring, we close off ourselves to the possibility of being stimulated. This is because we are seeing the activity as non-stimulating before it has the chance to be stimulating. It’s like breaking a TV before it has the chance to turn on. With a perspective like this we are in fact, setting the stage for more boredom.

We long to rid ourselves of boredom because when we are bored at times, it’s seems like we are wasting valuable time and talent. We think of all the ways in which we can be doing things better then we are now. This gives us a further distaste of perceivable routine things.

It’s easy to get stuck in a state of boredom for long periods when we are consistently:

-Not doing what we want to do

-When we can’t do what we want to do

-When we crave what is out of our reach

-And when we are putting unrealistic limitations on ourselves, or when we see ourselves as very limited

If we feel like we cannot make situations or life less boring, then they will be boring! If this is true then we may get or be stuck in a longer enduring boredom until we change our mentality.

If we are arrogant towards what we can learn or get out of things (whether we can or cannot) then we are shutting out the things that could stimulate us. Our perception of things will be forcing us into this boredom, rather then allowing ourselves to be stimulated.

If we are defensive, and try to hold on to things as we believe they should be, or if we are at a point where we just don’t want to learn about ourselves, then we are keeping ourselves in a state of boredom. This is because we are putting strict limitations on ourselves, and to a certain extent, we stop learning. Yet, a simple answer may also be that we are simply not being challenged enough, so we may need to seek challenges closer to our skill level.

Boredom at times can also be a response to prolonged overstimulation, so I believe that it may be the body’s response to let you know that you need to take it easy. So we may just want to take it in and be bored. We can look back and see whether or not this is the case.

Regardless of the cause, let’s face it… we don’t like being bored! So when there is a possibility or gap in time when we can be bored, or if we feel boredom coming on we fill in those gaps with stuff that will keep us occupied in one way or another. Eventually however, if we find ourselves in a routine and consistently highlight its repetitiveness in our minds, it will eventually stop stimulating. We need a balance between over-stimulation and under-stimulation. However, if we pay less attention to how our activities are routine, we will be less bored.

On the bright side, boredom can bring out our creative side. It may create in us a desire to do something worthwhile with our time generally outside what we would normally do. We may seek new hobbies, expand our horizons, or the boredom may even force us to focus on things that we have been neglecting for a long time because we would no longer be in the fast lane of stimulation.

The "Nice guy" mentality

There must be more to life then mere subtleties; more then the emptiness of simply being nice and fitting the mould so heavily placed on us...
Is this our design? Was Jesus merely a nice guy?
What is there apart from the caricature of goodness; are we once again cultivated by, and thrown headstrong into a locus of fear; fear to go beyond the subtleties, to push ourselves back into a realm beyond merely existing? Surely there has to be more to life then existence; then the confines of excessive good and its many limitations as enforced by the common stereotypical schemata that Christians so readily accept. “Be like Christ”, “pursue holiness”, “Be perfect as God is perfect”. Does it say anywhere in scripture that we aught limit ourselves to being nothing more then nice? Yes, it is said that we do things all to the glory of God, but who is to say that we resist the image of God placed on us as humanity from the beginning of time? Niceness, and anything in relation certainly has its place but what of these gifted passions and desires that God has placed so deeply within us? What is authenticity? What is a man? A man cannot and is not restricted to being just a nice guy. Anyone who would view Jesus as nothing but a nice guy in character has a very skewed view of Christianity.

Jesus took great risks, Jesus was aggressive when the time called for it, Jesus’ life was an adventure. Is this a fitting description that is fully encompassed by the “nice guy” mentality? Or when faced with risk, does the nice guy in a sense, smooth off all the sharp edges, and limit his surroundings to that which is horridly safe? There is no passion or authenticity in that. What is found is a hollow emptiness that resorts to subtlety as a means of safety and a catering to fear that builds more and more in the dark recesses of their minds.

I will continue to update as I discover more about this.